The Baltimore Examiner has published an article that spells out some ways to celebrate NGD (National Grouch Day). How many of these have you guys done?
Ways to Celebrate National Grouch Day
1. Complain that absolutely everything is a bad idea. (Me? Never!)
2. Buy a box of donuts and whistle as you bring them into the office, get everyone excited and then drop them, upside down or throw them at a wall. Look up at everyone and laugh. (I may try this)
3. Ask your bus driver or cab driver why it is taking so long to get to work, even if you are running early. (I've only done this while drinking.. and in college)
4. In fact, look for fault in everything and everybody you come into contact with. A true grouch can only see faults. (Only while in good company of MR, SR, VV)
5. If on Muni, sit behind someone who is having a conversation and loudly correct their grammer as they mis-use it. (What is a Muni? My Mom would do this)
6. If someone gives you a, "What's new?", give them the answer they are looking for: "New York, New Hampshire, new clothes, New Jack City, Paul Newman, "new to the city". We all hate that guy. (I hate this guy too)
7. Loudly complain about something good that happened to you, "God, I cant believe I have to fly to Venice again for another wedding, I am so sick of Venice." (Um.... no...)
8. Most definitely, under no circumstances offer your bus seat to a pregnant woman or child. (Thank God I don't ride the bus)
9. Make sure you get at least one chance today to say, "I told you so". (I have an older brother, this one - no problem)
10. Tell everyone but your friend that you know her boyfriend is cheating on her. Making sure to discuss how dumb she is and how many times you might have told her or him that their mate was indeed a succubus. (Yikes)
11. Put someone on hold, then transfer them around the office while you go out to lunch. (HA - I like this one)
12. Flush the toliet as your neighbor is showering. Ten extra points if you do it to your husband/wife, twenty points if you do it to your child, thirty points if your child is under the age of 7. (It doesn't affect anyone in my house if I do that)
13. Drive solo in the car pool lane and then cut everyone right before the toll, flipping the bird to the nice woman who let you in, instead of a wave. (Haha - starting to think I'm less of a grouch)
14. Tell everyone you see today that you think Where the Wild Things Are is going to suck. (Already done.)
15. WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPS (FINE)
16. Bait people all day by asking their opinions and then reacting the opposite grouch answers and lash out. (MY BOSS ALREADY HAS THIS ONE COVERED)
17. Tell uncomfortable and ridiculous lies about yourself. (I'M A SIZE 4 AND HAVE GOTTEN LIPOSUCTION 4x THIS YEAR)
18. "Why?" someone all day. (FLASHBACKS TO MY CHILDHOOD)
19. If you are the boss - fire everyone at least once today. (DONE. I'VE SEEN THAT OFFICE EPISODE)
20. Instead of kissing your wife when you get home, tell her how much you hate your life. (I DONT HAVE A WIFE)
21. Be creative and Happy National Grouch Day.
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